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Resignation as an adult

November 18, 2007 08:22 by Jon
Subject: Resignation

To whom it may concern:

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.

  • I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of a 5 year old again.
  • I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.
  • I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples in a pond with rocks.
  • I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.
  • I want to lie under a big oak tree and watch the ants march up its trunk.
  • I want to run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.
  • I want to think a quarter is worth more than a dollar bill cause it's prettier and weighs more.
  • I want to go fishing and care more about catching the minnows along the shore than the big bass in the lake.
  • I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes. When I didn't know what I know now. When all I knew was to be happy because I was blissfully unaware of all the things that should make me worried.
  • I want to think the world is fair.
  • I want to think that everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible.
  • I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.
  • I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and the loss of loved ones.
  • I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, dreams, the imagination, Santa, the Tooth Fairy, a kiss that makes a boo-boo go away, making angels in the snow and that my dad and Superman are the strongest people in the world.


So......here's my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit cards and the bills too, my 401K statements, my stocks & bonds, my collections, my insurance premiums, my job, my house and the payments too, my e-mail address pager,cell phone, computer, and watch. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this with me further, you'll have to catch me first, cause,

"Tag!"...
"You're it!"


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Comments

December 8. 2007 13:43

jerry

cool I wanna play

jerry

December 31. 2007 02:42

Ralph

Handing this in when I go back to work.
Absolutely too true.

Ralph

January 7. 2008 06:04

Dan

I am completely agree with you. If someway there could be a chance to resign to adulthood believe me I will do it. Maybe this world could be better if we, the adults, thinks more like a child.

Dan

January 7. 2008 06:59

Kate

No thanks. I'm really not interested in returning to a time when someone who weighed five or six times as much as I did was legally allowed to beat me, and frequently did so. Adulthood might not be easy, but childhood sucked.

Kate

January 7. 2008 08:26

Rocky

I like this a lot, I'm sitting in an office in midwest looking out my window at the unseasonably warm January weather (it is 66 degrees out!) thinking about how amazing it would be if it were possible to do the things listed above.

Rocky

January 7. 2008 10:34

Izabael

This was beautiful. This is how I have always tried to live my life and except for a smidgen of professionalism I need to run a business, I myself feel like I'm doing pretty good!

Feeling "like a kid" is what I consider my perfect state. That wild-eyed innocence is something I always try to attain. Even when I play video games that are simulations, when I'm done I try to notice the fantastic resolution of my own personalized game and just enjoy it for the small things. I really believe to view my life as the most high tech simulation really allows me to let go and enjoy it more and not take everything so seriously I stress out! I tried to be the 11-year old who just got the best present ever.

I fall short of this "innocent" ideal, but I'm wise and jaded enough to know that I must always try to attain it or I will instantly grow "old" which will cause the colors of life to drain and my soul to tire of this incarnation. I'll hold that off as long as possible!

Izabael

January 7. 2008 11:50

Vicki

I haven't been in the world of adulthood very long, but I completely agree. Being an adult has its downside.

Vicki

January 7. 2008 12:14

asdfman

Only problem with this is that you have to find someone to take care of you, forever. As if you were mentally handicapped. Severely mentally handicapped.

asdfman

January 8. 2008 01:49

Juan Quiceno

I too miss the younger days when getting up on saturday mornings to watch cartoons was the best thing for me. and reading green eggs and ham was the best thing.

Juan Quiceno

January 9. 2008 06:03

Yash

Absolutely true....
You hit the right spot my friend....
As a kid we were so happy....
I wand those days back, I want my childhood back....

Yash

January 9. 2008 08:16

Santiago Matamoros

It's easy to do that.
Just get committed to a mental hospital.

If you are a woman, get married and make your husband worry about it.

Santiago Matamoros

January 9. 2008 10:18

Sue

Very funny! I love this!

Sue

January 9. 2008 13:34

Wednesday

I think this can only happen after we die. We just haven't created a world that focuses on fun. It focuses on work. Darn it.

Wednesday

January 9. 2008 15:37

Drakin

I'm "it" nnnnnnnnnoooooooooo

"DADDY HE HIT ME!!, and he said a swear"

ner ner

Drakin

January 9. 2008 16:16

Fred

Incredibly well written. Hit the nail on the head.

Fred

January 9. 2008 19:05

Michael

Haha. Could you write one for me to use at school?

Michael

January 9. 2008 23:11

frikalik

You forgot one thing:
I want to believe theres a god who takes care of me, and when i die i will meet all my friends and family and elvis and tupac in heaven where we'll play forever...


silly kids...

frikalik

January 10. 2008 04:49

J

I can't be it i said no tag backs

J

January 10. 2008 11:11

Dave

being an adult rocks. money, sex... what else is better?

Dave

January 10. 2008 11:50

The Kid

I am 15 now and I am starting to lose some of these things you've mentioned, but I still try to enjoy them while I can. Your article here hits me hard as I am just realizing that the adulthood you speak of is coming soon and I don't want it too.

I also find it quite ironic that right above it is an ad for weight loss.

The Kid

January 11. 2008 03:31

John

You forgot "I'm sick of getting paid for the 7 hours a day I'm forced to spend indoors doing boring tasks. It was much more fun doing that for no money"

John

January 11. 2008 13:59

harry

Find work, live on bare essentials, save, then retire at 40. Alternatively, try and join the French Foreign Legion--that should make whatever time you have fairly exciting.

harry

January 12. 2008 14:52

em, sam, and jodi

You've been stumbled upon.

em, sam, and jodi

January 14. 2008 16:57

harry

Forgot to mention, I like the fact that I can find other men to rub my nuts now...they'd go to jail for that if I was a kid, so I guess I want to stay this age

harry

January 21. 2008 19:04

BG

So depressingly smart, it almost made me cry.
BG

BG

February 16. 2008 13:12

shawn

i think you still have to wake up at the end of the day

shawn

February 20. 2008 19:08

Terence

So true!

Terence

February 24. 2008 00:09

Dan

that is so true, very funny. im in britian and we lose alot of these things at about 9 and i know this for a fact because im 13. i really wished i listened to my parents when i was younger cos they always said "you aint gunna be a kid forever". i message to all the kids, LIVE YOUR LIFE NOT PLAY VIDEO GAMES!!

Dan

March 19. 2008 19:13

Janine

I wanna play too!

Janine

March 25. 2008 11:20

Wayne

If someone would take my surrender as an adult I think I'd probably do it. I'm 54 and just starting to, I hope, learn the rudiments of adulthood. Believe me I was not ready to be an adult when I was 21. I went into with both feet dragging and with deep worries and misgivings. Every fear I had was soon proven to be justified. Adulthood is Hard!! For some of us it is very hard. I saw a video of a small boy being asked what he wanted to be when he grew up and his answer was that he didn't want to grow up-- That was my sentiment exactly.

Wayne

March 28. 2008 10:30

Metoo

As a child I always wanted to grow up and now I have attained it I don't want it anymore Frown

Metoo

April 14. 2008 12:10

Cribcat

So where do I sign up for this?

Cribcat

April 16. 2008 07:36

vegetarian

George Carlin had a similar philosophy about how he wanted to live his life backwards, starting out old and in an old folks home until you get better and they throw you out... going backwards and getting better looking and younger until it all ends in an orgasm.

vegetarian

July 22. 2008 04:08

jay

This made me cry.

jay

August 5. 2008 04:42

Petros

That was awesome. You put together many of my thoughts about my life. The problem is that when you think like that other adults don't trust you.

The fact that I still have dreams and that I still believe that people are good, sometimes makes people around me lose trust in me. Stupid adults... when I grow up I'll show them.

Petros

Petros

August 17. 2008 10:21

konfusion

I wouldn't want to give up on sex, freedom, knowlegde, knowing what real friends are, who will stand up for you no matter what, having a job you like etc.
I like being fully conscient about everything that's going on, and being in control of my life.

konfusion

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November 20. 2008 02:03